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HOW TO DEAL WITH A BOSSY CO-WORKER

Posted by Admin | 1 year ago | Filed Under Finding A Job

There are certain things in life you may not have control over and this also extend to one’s career.

You do not have control over whom your colleagues will be,  as a result, it is very likely that you will come across different type of individuals; the lazy type, the talkative, the hardworking, the attention seeker, those ones popularly referred to as “over sabi” as well as the bossy ones.

There was a story of a gentleman in his mid-twenties who was so excited about his new job and looked forward to meeting other members of the team as well as the opportunity to showcase his skills.

After a week of resumption, he got so fed up and tendered his resignation letter. He was called upon by the Human resource Manager who wanted to know the reason for his decision. Guess what? The gentleman tendered his resignation letter because he couldn’t cope with a particular colleague whom he referred to as being “bossy”.

He cited several incidences where he had been addressed and humiliated in the presence of his other colleagues by this “bossy” worker. He made mentioned of times when he had been assigned certain assignments and how this “bossy” worker made him feel incompetent.

“I have endured this for so long and can’t take it anymore,” the man ranted.  All this while, the gentleman had harboured this without telling anyone, not even the Human resource manager. If he had shared this information with the appropriate authorities, this issue could have been resolved.

What would you have done if in his shoes? Would you have taken such steps too? Would you have allowed the bad attitude of a particular colleague get to you?

There is no denying that it can be extremely annoying when a colleague acts bossy to the point that it is intimidating but that is no reason to buckle your shoes and flee. Bossy colleagues can make you feel inadequate or use rules and procedures as a way to control others. They also have a way of telling you that your way of doing things or your ideas are wrong; which portrays the notion that they are smarter or more capable than you are.

Cynthia Measom of Demand Media said that when dealing with overbearing colleagues, you have two basic options: assertiveness or acceptance. If your co-worker is bossy and knows it, exercising your assertiveness is the only way to get him to stop.

The first step is to stand up when an overbearing colleague approaches you. Do not allow the person to tower over you. Standing up puts you on a more level playing field.

Cynthia further said that one should ask thoughtful and challenging questions about whatever topic the overbearing co-worker presents to you. This shows you are not willing to accept or agree to everything he says to you. This is appropriate in one-on-one or group situations, such as business meetings.

Create a boundary with your words, which allows the bossy colleague to witness your assertiveness. For example, say, "Thanks for your advice, but I have already decided how I want to handle it." Or you can say, "I have everything under control, thanks."

She further stated that you stop a colleague who wants to dominate the conversation or meeting with her own idea. Give her credit for her idea, but state that you also have a good idea worth considering. Then, state your idea with confidence.

Lastly, “tell an employee, who you think is oblivious to her overbearing tendencies, how her behaviour offends you. Deliver your message in a polite and professional way, in a private setting. Say something like, "I'm certain you don't mean to come across as bossy, but the other day in the meeting, you acted as if your idea was the only one that made any sense. There were several of us that had equally valid ideas, but it seemed that you were only interested in seeing yours advanced.", she said.

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